Saturday, July 19, 2008

This n' That

Oh girls. Accept my apology for my serious lack of communication lately. Things have been busy, and for some reason, my posting motivation has been really low. I have a hundred things to say, both to you and on my personal blog, but regurgitation from head to screen is sometimes overwhelming and unattractive. So, basically, I have no good excuse for my absence. But, I've been reading and loving, I promise!

I'm not really sure there's much to update with Ellie/us. Things have been pretty status quo for Ellie in the mobility department lately (maybe that's one of the reasons I feel unmotivated to post anything). It's, of course, frustrating. But, she's happy, and hopefully honing the skills she HAS learned, so these "down times" aren't completely useless. Right?!

On a positive note, Ellie's speech has been improving daily it seems. She's still well behind for her age, but she seems to add a word every day, and she's copying our sounds a lot better. I love seeing the wheels turn!

I thought of you girls the other night, because I wanted to rush to the computer to vent, knowing you were the only ones who could REALLY understand. Here's what happened:

DH and I help lead our senior high youth group at church. We've been very open with the "kids" as to what's going on with Ellie, and they have really grown to love her. The other night, we had a bonfire at our place for the kids. We also invited the "newbies" who will be freshmen in the fall. Of course, they were new faces to me, and vice versa.

It was time for me to put Ellie to bed, so I was making "the rounds", saying goodnight to all the kids. When I got to a group of new, unfamiliar freshmen, I told Ellie to "say night-night". One of the boys replied to her with, "Good Night, Golden Retriever!"

At first, I thought he was referring to the color of her hair. I thought it was a little odd, but a LOT of odd things seems to come out of the mouths of 14-year-old boys! BUT, the boy continued,

"I once had a Golden Retriever dog who drooled a lot too. She reminds me of that dog."

GULP.

I was so taken aback that I didn't know what to say. The ironic thing is that I had just been thinking that Ellie's drooling was improving! Of course, she ALWAYS drools more when she's tired, because it becomes difficult for her to keep her tongue in her mouth. Since she had already been up two hours past her bedtime, she was REALLY tired by this time. So, yes, she was drooling.

I didn't want to make a scene (and I wasn't sure how to respond to this boy), so I just gave him a disgusted look, and went into the house to put Ellie down. I really *do* think it was just a 14-year-old boy who didn't realize what he was saying. Because he is unfamiliar with us and our family, he didn't realize that there was anything "different" with Ellie. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt...for now.

Of course, it made me think about the future and how many stupid comments Ellie would have to field in her lifetime. SIGH. It makes me want to envelope sweet Ellie in my protective arms forever. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how tough our kids' skin will have to be.

I've also been thinking about my reaction to this comment, and I wish I could go back in time and change it. I wish I would have said something to the boy. Unfortunately, I have a sneaky suspicion that I will have more opportunities to respond to rude comments (from other people) in my lifetime, so hopefully this will prepare me for a good comeback. People need to realize that they can't go shooting off their mouths.

Anyway, this has become a novel! All this to say "hey!" to you girls!!

Chrystie (Ellie 3-15-05, SDCP)

6 comments:

Sheila said...

Hey Christie! I've missed seeing you around! I had tears in my eyes as I read your story of the teenage boy. I'm not sure if you read my post on OBBC awhile back about the experience I had with the man at the post office, but my reaction was the same - none. And afterwards I regretted not responding in some way to let him know just how hurtful his comment was. I think we're so taken aback when it happens that it's impossible to think at the time and it's a natural reaction to just retreat into hiding. I think their comments are said innocently, but they hurt nonetheless. Hugs to you, my friend! I am thrilled to hear that Ellie's speech is progressing so well. And her cuteness is doing the same! I love the pics on your blog and especially love the story of your experience in Starbucks with the two people in wheelchairs. It was such a moving story. Oh, the simple dreams we have for our kiddos! Sigh......

KPKoze said...

I tell you what, I think innocent comments even hurt worse. They don't know how much they hurt :( If you have a great group of kids, they'll put him in check real quick. And there will always be people who make stupid comments. It's just what people do. I think you handled it gracefully. I am so glad to hear about her speech progressing and things going well on that front!! I will have to check out your other blog too :) Glad to have you back among the posting!! I go through dry spells too. We'll see you around more!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Chrystie.....I'm sure it was just a "harmless" comment but it doesn't take the sting away. It completely breaks my heart that these are the types of things our kiddos will have to endure....for the rest of their lives.
((HUGS)) to you, girl! I "stalk" your blog too :) LOVED the Starbucks story......too sweet.
-Melissa

ellen :) said...

Chrystie,

I'm so glad you're here!! I miss you!! I'm sorry Ellie and you had to hear that comment. I chalk it up to ignorance and the amount of blatant disrespectful behavior that teenagers have nowadays...I'm not bitter at all,hah?? I even see it in my fifth graders! They don't even realize they are being rude!! It's kind of scary... I am so thankful that Luke is so much more thoughtful than that! Having Sam around helps that out...
I think I'm going to scream at the next person who says, "Oh, somebody's tired" when they see Sam can't hold his head up... "uh, no..he JUST has cerebral palsy.." UGH!
ANywho...love that sweet Ellie for me! Give her big hugs for us!! :)

Ellen :)

Anonymous said...

Chrystie, Hugs to you and Ellie, so sorry you guys had to hear something like that. I do think it comes from ignorance, and the teenager thing doesn't help, they think they are adults but still have so much to learn, but I know what you mean it still hurts. Glad to hear Ellies speech is coming along!! It was nice to hear from you again!

* ~ *Jessica* ~ * said...

Big 'ole Fat hugs hun!

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