Lost

(Dual Post on my blog and this one- I need that much help!)
I've been crying a better part of today. I'm at the part of the road where a turn is obvious. Normally, I'm fairly good at staying in control and making the right turn w/o regrets. This turn, however- I can't seem to make.

From last night's post here, you know I'm considering other options 'therapy wise'.

Today's events: Logen has been getting Developmental therapy through the public school since last Fall. I had a meeting with the DT today. Of course, at an IEP you must meet with more than just the DT. The Assistant Special Ed director was also there. Since Logen is technically school aged, there is not a whole lost the district is able to provide. We did turn in a waiver last year so that Logen could still get DT services through the school. However, today they suggested starting him in Kindergarten, like next week. Most likely, he will have to repeat. But, in the scheme of things- we didn't plan on starting him until next year anyways, so repeating wouldn't be so bad. And, yes- he'd be in special ed. I go Thursday to tour the school (it just opened in August, so everything will be shiny) and to meet the teachers, principal, aides, etc.
Why have I been so sad about this? Therapy, mainly. It sounds so silly now that I read it. But, he's not getting what he needs right now. So, could it hurt to take him out of it and rely on the public school system to do whats best for my baby? What if I am making the wrong choice? What if I totally screw up Logen b/c im just not competant enough to make these major life-altering decisions?I don't know what to do. My Mom told me to stop crying and go with my gut instinct. I don't have a gut instinct. Really, I don't. I get negative from one person and positive from another. That's not helping. She told me to stop worrying and just let it be until Thursday. She also said I can't hold Logen back b/c of my fears to 'let him go'. That much makes sense, but I don't think thats all. I'm scared, very much scared. And, I want to stop crying, but I can't. I don't like not being in control of things. On this one, I'm way out of it. What's right? And, what's the wrong choice here?

WHAT DO I DO????
What's going to be best for Logen? My non-verbal little bundle of joy.So, blog family please help me. I need to lean on you b/c I can't do this alone. It takes a village to raise a child, remember? Come out and help me Village :)

Jason is turning 10!

We are so proud of him! He has beat substantial odds and is turning into a son we are very proud of. I am going to copy and paste below what I wrote in my blog on myspace below. I have to say that Jason has taught us soooo much and to be very thankful for all the good around us. Sometimes life can be so unfair, but how you choose live with what you are dealt is what makes our days happy ones. Here is my entry from my blog...

Our little boy with be 10 years old in just a few days on September 7th and is going into the 4th grade at school!!!! He is getting so big! Where has all the time gone? Seems like just yesterday he was born. We are so thankful to have been blessed with such a great gift as Jason. Every day is a new adventure with him. Even though he has been dealt some cards in life that some may view as unfair, our son is very resilient and he makes the best of it and has a ton of fun doing it. He has beat all the odds that were stacked against him at birth. Every time he hits another milestone or achieves a goal, we just want to stand up and cheer! He wakes up every morning with a smile on his face and ready to go for it....We love you Jason! And we look forward to many more years of adventure with you Mr. Moo. (He would hurt me if he knew I was posting that nickname, LOL. He has informed me he is too old for these)