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(Dual Post on my blog and this one- I need that much help!)
I've been crying a better part of today. I'm at the part of the road where a turn is obvious. Normally, I'm fairly good at staying in control and making the right turn w/o regrets. This turn, however- I can't seem to make.
From last night's post here, you know I'm considering other options 'therapy wise'.
Today's events: Logen has been getting Developmental therapy through the public school since last Fall. I had a meeting with the DT today. Of course, at an IEP you must meet with more than just the DT. The Assistant Special Ed director was also there. Since Logen is technically school aged, there is not a whole lost the district is able to provide. We did turn in a waiver last year so that Logen could still get DT services through the school. However, today they suggested starting him in Kindergarten, like next week. Most likely, he will have to repeat. But, in the scheme of things- we didn't plan on starting him until next year anyways, so repeating wouldn't be so bad. And, yes- he'd be in special ed. I go Thursday to tour the school (it just opened in August, so everything will be shiny) and to meet the teachers, principal, aides, etc.
Why have I been so sad about this? Therapy, mainly. It sounds so silly now that I read it. But, he's not getting what he needs right now. So, could it hurt to take him out of it and rely on the public school system to do whats best for my baby? What if I am making the wrong choice? What if I totally screw up Logen b/c im just not competant enough to make these major life-altering decisions?I don't know what to do. My Mom told me to stop crying and go with my gut instinct. I don't have a gut instinct. Really, I don't. I get negative from one person and positive from another. That's not helping. She told me to stop worrying and just let it be until Thursday. She also said I can't hold Logen back b/c of my fears to 'let him go'. That much makes sense, but I don't think thats all. I'm scared, very much scared. And, I want to stop crying, but I can't. I don't like not being in control of things. On this one, I'm way out of it. What's right? And, what's the wrong choice here?
WHAT DO I DO????
What's going to be best for Logen? My non-verbal little bundle of joy.So, blog family please help me. I need to lean on you b/c I can't do this alone. It takes a village to raise a child, remember? Come out and help me Village :)
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6 comments:
Awwww Jessica....I know what you are dealing with. Lil Jason has been in the school districts programs since he was three and guess what? He repeated kindergarten! He went to a private school kindergarten first and then public kindergarten the year after. We knew that he would have to repeat and accepted it. Honestly, I wasn't so sure he wasn't going to have to repeat 3rd grade last year. He left with a C/D average, and that wasn't for any lack of him trying either. He worked his butt off to get those grades. The only thing you can do is let him try it...If he repeats kindergarten so be it. I promise it will be okay. Just wanted to let you know that I understand from experience with this. And I have to agree with your mom, find your momma gut instinct that you have been equipped with. It has never steered me wrong and I bet it will help you too. Email me if you need to talk about it. All I can do is let you know my experience, but that may be enough to help you along. (((HUGS)))
Jess -- Reichen is still too little for school, so I do not have any great words of advice for you. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
You are an amazing Mom and you will do what is right for him. I know it is a hard decision, but hopefully the tour will help to make things a little clearer.
Please keep us posted and I hope other Mommy's have some experiences to share
Jess,
I'm not much of a help, here. other than to say, why not try it?? I am sending Sam to the SN preschool starting next Tuesday even though I can't stand the thought of my immobile, helpless, non verbal little man going off without me even though it's only 3 hours a day. But everyone is telling me that he needs the other kids to motivate him and I know he'll be getting more therapy through the school. So as a mom I feel like i'd be holding him back if I don't at least try it. That's all we can do is try, right?? I am saying a prayer for you that God gives you the strength to make the decision that is right for Logen AND you. Let us know how the tour goes!
Thanks girls. I am very excited about the tour tomorrow. And, I haven't cried today. I am still extremely concerned about the therapy aspect and the fact that he is non-verbal. It worries me that if somebody were to treat him badly, he can't tell me. But, I guess that can happen anywhere.
I'm happy to see that you are feeling better. The other mothers and your own mother give wise counsel. I want to suggest that you seek some support from your hubby.
We all want to know who school turns-out for Logen. Barbara
Honey, I'm late finally getting on here to check the blog, but shame on you for not telling me how worried you have been! You mentioned that he was going, but you didn't mention that you were freaking out. Anyway, as you know, Bri started preschool in September, and I, too, was freaked out by it. She's the only girl in her class, the only one who isn't mobile, the only one who can't eat snack, the only one who requires OT/PT services. The other students are SPD or Autism spectrum diagnoses. But Bri does so well, it's amazing. Anyway, my point is, you might be surprised at how well he does, and how much he benefits. Has he ever been in a mainstream environment before? Where he has the opportunity to observe and learn from mainstream students? I have to say, there's something to be said for peer observation....it's how Bri learned to squirm across the floor.
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